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Oh my my my, the adventures of dating, online dating, and blind dates set up by friends who I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt & believe they truly mean well. I forgot how terrifying that world can be...I had gotten so comfortable in my sweet bubbled routine little world. Reality was a harsh, awkward, agonizingly brutal wake-up call. The online experience has been the one that have proven to be the most entertaining; it’s definitely kept me on my toes. I understand how hard it can be to put yourself out there, to have standards and actually stick to them, and to not just settle for the first guy who says ‘you’re too beautiful to still be single’. But goodness…there are some interesting characters out there who just screams ‘dear god, help me in any way you can’. 

Lesson 1: Explicits + compliments cancel each other out

You cannot expect me to answer to an email that simply says, 'You are so ____ sexy girl. Why you on here?'. (a) I don't talk to guys who find it necessary to use explicits when trying to make a good/lasting impression on women. There are better lack of words that will express the same enthusiasm. (b) The fact that I'm on an online dating site is already an issue in itself. There is no need to bring up the reasons WHY I'm on it. That, sweetheart, will get nowhere. 

Lesson 2: Do not email me 't@lkiN lik diS cuz I aint knO wut u mean'.

Now I know you're trying to be trendy and you may think it's cute. But it's not MySpace & it's not 2001. We are both at an age where that is no longer acceptable...in any situation. I don't want to spend 45 minutes trying to decipher what you are all about. 

Lesson 3: The past is the past. Please do leave it there. 

If & when I actually do accept an invitation to meet up, please don't spend the majority of the night telling me how your previous Match dates went/how your ex-wife got a profile just to stalk you/how we hardly have a thing in common except for the fact that we're both on Match. This will only make me hate my life and you.  

*NOTE: The above was written with a sense of humor. I’m not trying to be a snob nor do I think I am above online dating (obviously if I have an account). 

-N.